9/14/2026
I deleted my previous entries because i felt as though none of them were good / true representations of how i felt. i wanted to start fresh. i want to put my actual thoughts and feelings into this page, not tweak my thoughts because im worried of hurting someones feelings or if im being rude. but i dont care anymore, the world has treated me like shit and im tired of staying silent about how i feel. Im sick and tired of everything crashing down on me whenever i feel like im in a good place. i hate this so fucking much, i just want to be normal and happy but i cant. i never will be. deep down i know that its not society or the world, its me thats the issue. no matter how hard i try to be likeable to anybody it seems as though io fail in every way possible. i dont know how to talk to people, i dont know how to properly make friends, i cant do anything right. i just want to curl up and turn into a pile of dust or get swallowed up by a black hole. i feel so stupid but its how i feel and i want to write it out. i just want to be more authentic with myself on this webpage and in my journal as i tend to try to please people out of habit. i hate this.